LilyCrazy's Blog

How sad is it, that in this day and age we have to PROVE our right to grieve ?  How warped has society as a whole become that we can't just accept that someone has had a death in the family- you have to PROVE IT.

My mother passed away Wednesday after a lengthy battle with emphysema. If you smoke, please quit. This is a living death that goes on for years. She didn't quit until AFTER she suffered her first total respiratory failure and spent over 2 weeks on the ventilator. I got the call from my dad and sister when I was at the checkout at the grocery store. I didn't answer my cell phone immediately because I think it's just plain rude to ignore the cashier and yack it up on your phone- I handed the phone to my daughter, and was shocked to hear her side of the conversation. I didn't know what  had happened until I got to the hospital- just broken bits and pieces.

My parents never had a large group of friends, my mother was from Germany and has no surviving family, never has had any family in the US. My father's family consists of himself, one brother and one sister- far flung across the country now. My parents have never been flashy people, but very conservative old Lutheran folks- with no desire for big funerals and obituaries and so on. My dad did not write an obituary for my mother, and she was cremated yesterday. There will not be any services until after my nephew returns from Ft Bragg and my son's wedding is over in July. My parents were married for 49 years, something almost unheard of these days.

What's my point ?  I can't tell you how many times this week I have had to explain to someone that my mother has passed away, only to see the eye-roll, the "I didnt see an obitary.....", or some smart ass comment because there is no funeral right now. Trust me, if I wanted three days of work, I'd just ask for it- I wouldn't tell people my mother had DIED just to get some time off, or some lee-way in a seed exchange, or a postponement for a Partylite Show, or whatever.