KeyWee's Blog

I have found that it does me precious little good to spout off botanical plant names if the only response I am going to get is the blank stare of death.  Now don't get me wrong ~ do I know all the botanical names for even half the plants in my garden?  Heck, no.  Do I know a few?  Yeah, maybe.  

Some of the best gardeners I come in contact with (you know the ones where your eyeballs fall out on the ground when you see their yard) have no clue as to the true names of plants.  Nor do they care.  But ask them how the plant performs, when it blooms, if it self-seeds, spreads or does other strange planty things, and they know.

Since moving to another gardening zone, I have heard it all.  It sometimes takes three and even four tries to figure out what plant is being discussed unless you're standing right on top of it.  And even then a disagreement can arise.  So what do I do?  I cave.  "No, you're right ~ it's a yellow rose of Texas, a naked lady, a snow-on-the-mountain."  Whatever great grandma called it, we're going with that.  Because in the long run, the name is meaningless, if you can't learn something about the plant (and get a start of it from the owner!). 

It's great to know the "real" name if you're doing research and that's what the internet is good for.  Then again, some gardeners I know don't even bother with that. 

What's in a name?  Everything and nothing ~ depending on your perspective.  Me ~ I'm after that free plant, I don't care what you call it. 

In two words ............ I passed!!!!

Whew ~ what a relief, I was sooooo nervous.  But not only did I pass, I ACED it!!  Yay, me.   Now trust me, I will probably not remember half of what I had to know to pass this thing, but the point is that my brain still works ~ who knew? 

The exam was about 10 pages, 120 questions ~ but you were allowed to skip questions if you were unsure.  There were some extra credit questions at the end, but since most of these were (?) KY Sports related (I think they were supposed to be a joke) I didn't know any of them.  Basketball coaches???  Please ............

So to those of you who held on to those good thoughts for me and this test, a big THANK YOU for your confidence.  All in all, I am SO glad I took this class, held out to the bitter end, and made it through the exam.  Don't you think I'm a better person for it??

Well who woulda thunk it??!  The illustrious State of Kentucky does a pretty durn good job of attempting to keep everyone informed, IF you know where to look.  This state's college of agriculture website is an endless wealth of information, not only for the horticulturists and master gardeners among us, but for the simple Joe Gardener just searching for answers.  I have to admit, I was pretty impressed.

So now, if someone asks me a question and I don't have the answer (more often than not), I know exactly where to tell them to go.  So if anyone cares to take a peek, it's www.ca.uky.edu.  The information there will be most pertinent to the west Kentucky zone, soil chemistry, weather conditions, etc.  There is also a comprehensive weather link that is practically minute-by-minute.  Pretty cool.

All of this makes me wonder just HOW in the heck anyone gets along without the internet anymore?  Is it bizarre behavior that I check certain favorite sites FIRST thing in the morning ~ sometimes even BEFORE coffee.  Heavens, what kind of lunacy is that??!  Please understand, I am FAR from being a technical or electronic wizard of any description, but I simply have WAY too much fun on here.

Ok ~ I hijacked myownself.  If you have nothing better to do this week, please, please, PLEASE send up a good thought for me for Thursday's Master Gardener final exam.  Methinks I am making much too big of a deal of this but test-taking has fallen way down on my you-have-got-to-do-this list.  At my age, it's very hard to pretend to be a pimply, scrawny, test-anxious teenager again.  Same chance as me sqeezing into hip huggers and a tube top.

And soil chemistry ~ probably one of the most important classes of all in the series.  If you know your soil composition and what is has and what it lacks, you are definitely in business.  Plants need nutrients to grow, thrive and repel pests and disease.  Bottom line ~ get your soil tested.   Have I had my soil tested?  No.  Will I have it tested now?  Yes.  This little step can make all the difference in how your plants will perform.

OK ~ I am off of my soapbox for the week.  Now can I bend your ears about this week's news?  Gonna make this S&S (short and sweet).  We had to say a final goodbye to our red doberman (Toby) this week.  And at the age of only eight years, this was a really "sucky" thing to have to do (for lack of a better word ~ that's how we feel).  Her back legs have been bad for a few years due to some torn and irreparable tendons.  Well, last Friday night she did it again (that dang stray cat led her on).  Spent all last weekend trying to haul her 97 pounds around ~ she had all she could do to get up.  The saddest thing I have ever seen was her out in the yard, laying on the lawn because she KNEW the steps were just too much for her.  Needless to say, Monday's visit to the vet was all bad news ~ nothing to be done.  What's more, the vet said that Toby was hiding the worst of the pain as only dogs can do.  Mark took her in, so when I got home from work ~ no Toby. 

Dang ~ sucky.

And IPM (Integrated Pest Management).  That means that some genius will introduce eighty billion Asian beetles into your area to eat aphids ~ which works fine.  Just one teensy-weensy little problem.  The Asian beetles have NO natural enemy.  Well guess what?  The aphid problem is solved but now there's an Asian beetle problem.  Ack ~ the system needs a little fine tuning. 

Kudzu is another example.  Oh, it's soooo pretty.  Gee, it grows easily and *oh, wait* really, really fast (where did you park the car honey?).  Introduced here by another genius for its ornamental qualities, it now covers millions of acres south of the Ohio River (oh, guess what again? ~ it's been seen north of the Ohio now too).  It also harbors soybean rust, which is not a good thing either.  But hey, I like kudzu and have often considered planting some ~ maybe.

 Once again, today's MG instructor was the soul of wit.  It's my firm belief that funny stuff is easier to remember.  He also managed to take the edge off of standing in the garden center and trying to decipher the thousands of bottles, bags, and boxes of pesticides that you have to choose from when problems arrive.  Bottom line ~ read, read, read the label, and he means ALL of it. 

Something tells me that it's Fall.  Today was productive in the Fall clean-up category.  Plus, the 9-1/2" of rain we received over the past week made many jobs so much easier.  I even took the time to organize my workshop, hang basil to dry, sort all my pots according to size, and neaten up my compost pile. 

I think tonight calls for a nice warm pot of jambalaya ~ you with me??

Road trip!!

Our Master Gardener class took a field trip to Cheekwood Botanical Gardens in Nashville, Tennessee.  GO if you get the chance.  There is something for everyone. 

Not being a big city fan, getting through Nashville was the hardest part of the day, and I wasn't even driving.  But it was worth the traffic jam headaches. 

Cheekwood was built in the 1930's as a country estate by the Cheek family (her maiden name was Wood).  Being founders of the Maxwell House Coffee concern, money wasn't an issue.  So wouldn't you build a four-storey 30,000 square foot limestone albatross with 30' ceilings and a wisteria arbor big enough to park a semi in??  Not to mention that the lady of the house was obsessed with water (didn't get enough coffee, I guess) so there are ponds, reflecting pools, fountains, manmade babbling brooks and waterfalls, grottos, if it could hold water, they built it.  Surrounded by 55 acres of gardens and paths, with spectacular views from every single window, it's hard to imagine ever living in such a place for a small potato like me.

Since we only spent part of the day at Cheekwood (two hour drive each way) we didn't see it all.  They have at least 14 individual types of gardens and a mile-long sculpture walk.  The Japanese-style garden has an unbelievable bamboo corridor that puts you in a completely different world.   Each and every garden has a theme and is designed to look good from every viewpoint (just like my yard, yeah ~ right).  A lot of money goes a l-o-n-g way. 

The mansion is no longer used as a residence but was donated to the community by the Cheekwood family in 1960.  So now the house is an art museum.  They were currently displaying a collection of Faberge eggs.  Knick knacks not being my cup of tea, but still impressive.

So if you get the chance and are in the Nashville area, do go.  The gardens were still awesome in October, so can you picture June?  The $10 price of admission is worth the experience.  Oh, and all plants are labeled ~ there were a LOT I didn't recognize (Zone 7). 

SO ........ only four more MG classes to go.  Big test on 11/15 ~ wish me luck!!

Conflict?  What conflict??  We ain't got no steeeenkin' conflict!!!   Then why-o-why were we subjected to an hour-long lecture on how to deal with conflict in human relations?  Gardening and WHAT?? 

Now I realize that the program is new in our area, but I am still puzzling over what gardening and conflict have in common.  My only issues are with weeds and grass, oh ~ and Japanese beetles ~ now THAT'S conflict.  So what did I learn?  How to deal with an angry Master Gardener who got left off of the tour bus.  

Well, here I go sounding negative again, and that is entirely NOT my intent.  I am really meaning to be funny and I always love to look at the humorous side of things.  Sometimes that involves making presentations appear silly, but in truth, the talk was very informative and reminded me a lot of real life.  Although I have little to no conflict in my life (not because I strive to avoid it, but simply because I don't care what people do) the whole speech made me feel sorry for people who have to deal with it on a daily basis.  My hat is off to those of you conflict-dealers and I hope digging in the dirt soothes your soul.

Speaking of presentations, today was the day.  We each had to give a five-minute talk on a topic inspired by an extension office brochure.  I chose hummingbirds.  Since my nickname is "Machine-Gun Kelly"  (for my 90mph speech pattern), I couldn't figure out how for the life of me I was going to fill up five whole minutes.  In seventh grade, I was required to repeat an entire speech (tres humiliation) because the teacher said I spoke so fast, no one got a word out of it.  With this ages-old lesson in mind, I made an attempt to s-p-e-a-k  v-e-r-y  s-l-o-w-l-y and DING ~ the bell went off before I even finished my thoughts.  Whew ~ glad that's over with because it was a mandatory part of the course. 

In other news ~ it's COLD!!  Nights are heading into the 40's and days are still in the 70's.  Great fall clean up weather.  The hummers are gone for the year (sob) so feeders are down, cleaned and stored.  Time for the Canfield Experimental Garden site preparation.  Every fall, I prepare a new bed and plant ALL the seeds that I have received in swaps with you-all and others.  Seeds that I want to overwinter outdoors are planted and labelled, and in the spring ............ can't wait!!!

Oh boy howdy, this was (and I am being polite here) dull.

To give credit where it is due, the instructor is famous for his work in plant pathology ~ one of the nation's best in fact.  But that doesn't make every brown spot on every piece of fruit an exciting adventure.  Poor man ~ he was SO enthusiastic.  At many points, it was all he could do to move on to the next slide because the one at hand was just so chock-full of dazzling potential.  As much as I hate to say that if you've seen one brown spot, you've seen them all, that's what it was beginning to feel like after three solid hours of brown spots.

Given the mind-numbing white noise of this topic, this girl is determined to learn at least the basics.  How else will I be able to help those poor pest-ridden gardeners of Marshall County?  They are depending on me to get them through the worst of it.  Unfortunately, the answer and cure to many, many icky-looking diseases with urpy-sounding names like gall, blight and rot, is to simply get rid of the infected plant and start anew.  Not what the home gardener wants to hear.  Another deeply held secret is to not buy sickly looking plants in the first place (guilty). 

Of some interest to all you gardeners will be the world-famous "disease triangle".  The more I thought about this neat little object, the more I can see the sense in it.  In short, you cannot and will not have disease on plants without the three "legs" of the triangle:  1) a susceptible host, 2) a pathogen, 3) the proper environment.  If you have all three of these, someone's going down.  But if even one is missing, you are winning the war.  There now, don't you feel all smart and stuff?!

So despite my drooping eyelids and a class that exceeded its 3-hour limit, I feel like a stray thread of information may have worked its way into my already-crammed mind.  Like I mentioned to a fellow student, at this stage of the game, I adhere to selective learning (as in only what I have an interest in), almost as if my mind knows that it doesn't have a whole heck of a lot of time to deal with knowledge it doesn't want and won't use. 

Oh ~ I did learn one thing that I absolutely refuse to agree with and probably won't practice.  Don't save and/or swap seeds ~ NOT!!!  According to the pros, they can spread disease far and wide.  That's like saying don't go to Walmart in case you get a cold.  Saving seeds, swapping and trading both plants and seeds is one of my greatest joys and I refuse to give that up.  It's a risk I'm willing to take ~ sue me.

It's hard to believe that my adventures in Master Gardening class are almost half over ~ I am enjoying it SO much!  Today's topic was the one I looked forward to the most.  If anyone can bore someone into a complete stonecold coma, it's me and perennial-pratter.

The hand's down best part of this class was the dig-n-drop session in the university extension's flower gardens.  The instructor took us on a tour of the eight acres of perennials and he carried a small pitchfork.  Wherever we paused for a moment, he would dig plants and then just drop them on the ground and move on.  Guess who was the first person with their hand out?  Shy gets you nada.  I came away with trilliums, bath-pink dianthus, Churchill Downs iris, fall asters, and lychoris (surprise lilies).  What a haul!! 

For today's class, it was my turn to make the lunch.  Since we have 8,000 pounds of ground beef in the freezer, I made Italian Sloppy Joes for thirty people.  Served with a nice relish tray (yes, with jalapenos) I believe I made some friends out of the I-hate-to-cook crowd.  All during the morning session, I could see my classmates floating on a wave of simmering garlic.  By noon, they were MINE!!

It was with some trepidation that I entered the classroom on this date.  One of the scariest things about making a move further south than Z5 was the thought of big creeping, crawling, flying, biting, stinging things the size of a Volkswagen.  Since I am still alive to talk about it, obviously my fears were (mostly) unfounded. 

The class on entomology was interesting and would have been even more so if the instructor (by his own admission) hadn't been such a bug-obsessed maniac.  There is nothing about the world of insects that he didn't find of the utmost fascination.  I guess this is as it should be for an expert in any field and while not entirely infectious, I did come away with a totally different attitude about the little fiends.  Let's just say that 90% of them are our friends and completely beneficial, and now I have some idea which ones those are.  That's not to say that I want a houseful of pets with a skeleton on the outside of their body any time soon.

In other news ~ the hummingbirds are still here but their numbers are diminishing daily.  The six months they are away are long ones and I will miss them when they go.  In the meantime, I am keeping my feeders filled until no little sweetlebees remain.

I found a likeable plant on the "buy me, I'm dead" rack at Lowe's and the price was right at $2.00, only to find out that the mysterious caryopteris I bought is little more than a fancy blue spirea.  Who knew and why didn't they just say so??  Well at least it's a fall-bloomer and the flowers are attractive little blue puffs of smoke ~ I'm happy (unless someone tells me different).

OoooWheeee!  Can you feel the excitement?  If you can't, then you know how much I was looking forward to this class ~ not.   The only thing I really wanted to learn about grass is how to get RID of it.

Well, color me surprised ~ the class was pretty darn interesting.  The instructor had a hilarious dry wit that kept us all guessing (is he kidding or not) the entire class.  His references to his "fashionable and fabulous bachelor pad" (now fondly known as the FFBP) and "explosive cursing" in the attempt to make use of certain tools, chemicals, and other obnoxious items, had us all literally rolling on the grass all day.

So, let me see ~ what did I learn?  How to take a soil sample and then make sense of the pH levels and what amendments are required.  How to choose the proper grass seed for any given area in Zone 6b.  When to water, weed, feed, treat, and generally became a major grass-o-holic.  How to mow and to maintain the equipment to do so.  I did gracefully bow out of the spreader competition (seeing how fast and efficiently you could spread five pounds of expensive chemicals on your lawn to change the color).  When the instructor asked me why I chose not to give it a try, I told him "because I ain't ever gonna do it".  Apparently he hasn't seen the pictures on my Profile Page (yet).  Do I look like Joe Lawn??

In other news ~ hey, it's seed-gatherin' time.  Someone tell the person who wants free seeds in the forum that they ARE free ~ right now, wherever you paste your eyes.  I have collected enough zinnia seeds to cover the entire state.  My only challenge is beating the birds to it.  I have noticed that they are visiting the seed feeders again though, so winter can't be far over the horizon.  My morning walk was a nippy 51 degrees ~ tomorrow I break out the gloves!

Who knew that at age 53, I would make the journey back to elementary science class?  Can you say "Are you smarter than a fifth grader"?  And the answer to that would be "no". 

Our instructor did everything right. In other words, he was able to reduce the basics of botany to non-spring-chicken level without talking down to us ~ much appreciated.  That's not to say he didn't use a glove shaped like a giant bumble bee and a huge working model of a flower with all the required parts to demonstrate pollination.  Also much appreciated, as most students are dependent upon some type of sight-enhancing devices.  Suffice it to say that I now can name most plant parts, identify leaf types, tell the difference between a corm, bulb and tuber, and disect a flower to find the "good parts".  Just another few stepping stones to Master Gardener Land.

In other news ~ WE GOT RAIN.  It may have been only an inch or so, but every doggone drop was needed.  I was able to pull some weeds for the first time in weeks.  Needless to say, grass had taken over my new daylily patch, so that got a major pull-out on Saturday.  Was able to get my Golden Rain tree in the ground at last ~ no dynamite required.

All in all, my gardens are still beautiful.  I have blooms, colors, and hummingbirds ~ who could ask for more???  Well ~ ok ~ a million dollars would be nice.

Thursday 8/30/07 ~ Class #2 ~ Princeton, Kentucky

University of Kentucky Experimental Farm ~ 1700 acres of tests and trials to see what will do best in Zone 6b.

We spent the better part of the day in the blazing sun (yes, I have a rather odd-looking spot on my arm that I'm going to keep an eye on) inspecting maple trees for disease and desirability.  Since the trees were all the same age and planted on the same day, it's amazing how some adapt and some give up the ghost.  The trees are not babied, but allowed to "sink or swim" as conditions prevail.  This way, the best tree wins and others are eliminated for sale to local greenhouses.  I never knew there were so many kinds of maple tree and one was definitely a favorite of mine, just because it was so different-looking (I like weird).  It was called a hedge maple and the expert said it is practically immune to disease and pests, but does not grow as tall or have the large desirable canopy.  I loved it for its small, close-to-the-branch curly leaves.  So there you have it ~ my pick for the week!

Onward to the vegetable garden (yes, we had to travel by vehicle ~ 1700 acres is not walkable).  Here they were testing the effects of herbicide on tomatoes.  I know I can just hear you ~ HOW interesting!!  But it was, and we were allowed as many maters as we could carry.  Even though I have my own, I had to take some for "taste comparison" ~ mine are just as good haHA!

Wait, we're not finished ........ on to grapes, apples and bramble berries.  I have to admit I have never seen such large blackberries in my life. 

All in all a productive day and I feel I am learning something for my $80 ~ the doorstop manual alone is probably worth the cost. 

Since blogging comes as more of a good thought than a definitive action to me, I am adding the date so as to give anyone who has the misfortune to read this a point of reference.

Yesterday's date was the occasion of my very first Master Gardener class.  Six people, 5 women, 1 man, no spring chickens.  Not many people have the luxury of 13 consecutive Thursdays free for this kind of endeavor.  Next week, we'll be joining a class of 18 more people from the next county over. 

First class ~ orientation.  I feel like a more balanced individual already.  We were each gifted with a 3" thick manual and a first-day test to determine our knowledge now as opposed to what it will be in 13 weeks.  I expect to learn at least my $80 worth of information. 

I will edit to add thoughts as they occur to me because I don't want to be logged out against my will.  After class, my front porch became a plant stand.  Stopping off at one of the other gardener's close-by homes on the way out (and yes, it WAS the man ~ sue me) I walked away with 3 forsythias, a "golden-seal" tree (anyone know?), some Swedish ivy cuttings, and an angel trumpet.  This is a GOOD new friend.

Two great, weird, and wonderful things happened to me this weekend:

1)  I found the senna seed I was looking for ~ happened to spot a plant or two at the LBL (Land Between the Lakes) National Recreation Area.  Since they rather frown on pulling up wildflowers to take home with you, I just pocketed a few seeds that happened to be setting out in plain view.  Oddly enough, none of the other people I was with seemed much excited about this discovery ~ just me.

2)  I received a nice invitation to join the Master Gardener Program in my county.  Well it's about doggone time!!  I have been trying to get into this program FOREVER (six years now) and something always causes my dream to crumble.  For the last two years, the program has been cancelled due to lack of participation ~ this year, looks like it's a GO ~ keeping my fingers crossed.  When I finish this, will I be a smart gardener??!