Funny stories or the adventurers and history of members
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Posted: Jun/06/2008 8:59 AM PST
palmettogal had an idea of starting a forum with historical, funny stories of our lives, leading up to having a garden, so I thought I'd give it a try. After growing up in the Pacific Northwest, then following my Navy hubby around for 31-1/2 years (some people can't take a hint), I finally realized my dream of living in the country, again. I was so sick of crowded cities and the likes, I was beyond wild with 5 acres and lots of room. Our first project here, was to put in a chicken pen and house... well, being a very impatient person, I went window-shopping for chickens. Before Mike had finished the project, I came home, 100 Rhode Island Red chicks in tow. Mike had to speed up his project and, after awhile, we were eating fresh eggs. Next thing, someone introduced me to a catalog, where I could order chickens and I did; I ordered another 100 Wyandott (sp ?) chicks. These are very prolific chickens and can live in the wild, with no problem. Mike decided the chicken business was no fun, so he decided to let them disappear by attrition -- didn't work. Finally, we had to have a chicken-round-up, wherein, Mike would tear around, grab a chicken, bind it's feet with, what else, duct tape. As he'd head for another one, the first one would break free and we finally gave up, armed our son with a .22 and he shot them. I was in the kitchen, cleaning the "cadavers," when I found one that had been shot in the back. When I confronted my son about this, he explained, "He was resisting arrest." To date, I haven't had anymore chickens. The next chapter, in my input, will be how my oldest granddaughter and I went garage saling and came home with a horse. Attachments:  |
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Posted: Jun/06/2008 12:13 PM PST
roflmho!!!! Awesome story! One of my first gardening memories was when I was in elementary school and mom and dad had a garden. I didn't like going out there for various reasons so I decided to go into the neighbors' yard where there were tall weeds. Once I got over there I found a handy dandy mound of dirt that was perfect for standing on until the ants got mad and decided to crawl all over me. As if that wasn't bad enough to make me dance all over I had to get in the shower which was another thing I absolutely hated. I was a bathtub person back then. Maybe that's why I was never fond of dancing either. Hmmm...... 
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Posted: Jun/06/2008 5:05 PM PST
Poe, you should have been the one trying to catch all those chicken. So funny I almost wet my britches. When we first moved into our house some 24 years ago, the shrubs had not been tended to in a very long time. Odd trees, vines and general 'stuff' had grown up and in every growing thing. First thing you need to know is my husband has an aversion to dogs for some reason I really haven't been able to determine. One nice Saturday afternoon, he decided to tackle the fence line next to my now good friend and neighbors yard. I knew they had a pretty big dog named 'giest' (I think that means ghost). He was a quiet dog and could come up on you before you even knew it. I know you are getting the picture, man who doesn't like to work in the yard, has no real love for dogs, a dog that can move around like a ghost. Well, yep, you guessed it. That dog got right up next to that fence, my husband bend down to hack something out of the shrub, this startled the dog, dog gave out a very loud BARK, wherein my husband came up out of the shrub like he had been stuck with the largest needle anyone had ever invented with a likewise very loud, and I might add very HIGH pitched scream. The look on his face I will never forget. I had heard the dog and as I looked up here came my husband with that Wail heard around at least the neighborhood, up out of that shrub. I knew instantly what had happened and you guessed it again, I could not stand it, I just had to laugh. It was just too funny. Now my hubby, bless his little heart, did not think it was funny at all. His day in doing manly outdoor work was over. I did not argue with him. Linda B |
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Posted: Jun/06/2008 5:13 PM PST
Now, the expression on your DH's face is something I would have loved to have seen!! I don't really ahve any funny garden stories, or stories that lead up to funny garden stories. BUT, there was the time I was working and living at a riding stable and we had a manure spreader that a local corn farmer would let us empty on his fields. We also had a young woman from Michigan (sorry to anyone from Michigan) who was not the brightest bulb in the box who decided that, in the spring, during heavy rains, to try to drive the manure spreader into that corn field and sunk the tractor tires up to the axle in mud, full manure spreader and all. THEN, she had to climb out and through all that mud to let someone know she was stuck. I just happened to be coming back from school and got a picture of said tractore and manure spreader in the mud, but unfortunately not our young lady covered in it! |
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Posted: Jun/06/2008 9:48 PM PST
Well, let's see, I have a few but they might be those "You had to be there" so, anyway. One of the first gardens I ever made was in pretty much just clay, before I knew anything like amending soil or any such thing. I really didn't know anything much about gardening, either, just plant it and watch it grow, I thought. Anyway, stuff was growing good and we'd had a few days of rain, and I hadn't weeded for a few days (or maybe a week, I still hate to pull weeds). You all know just how tall weeds can get when it's really hot and wet! So, I thought, the weeds will be easy to pull while it's so wet, so out I went into the garden to weed. I was wearing a pair of old canvas tennis shoes that used to be so popular. Anyway, things were going OK, I was in the middle of the garden, and stepped into a place that was way more mushy than anywhere I had stepped so far. My feet went down a good 6-8 inches in that wet muddy clay and I was stuck! I could not for the life of me pull either foot out of that mud. I hollered for hubby, but he was in the house watching TV and couldn't hear me. I tried and tried to pull my feet out, but it seemed the mud was just sucking at my feet when I tried to pull, and I couldn't break free. I finally got one foot out, minus the shoe, but I couldn't get a foothold to pull my other foot out without sinking that foot back into the mud. I was beginning to think I was going to be a garden ornament when one of my little daughters came walking around the side of the house. I sent her for hubby, and he pulled me out. My shoe stayed there until the next spring, when the tiller pulled it out! Poor man, he got an earful about leaving me out there for so long, and he didn't even know I was stuck. |
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Posted: Jun/07/2008 5:05 AM PST
Quote: Originally posted by rockybane I was beginning to think I was going to be a garden ornamentROFL rocky! First laugh of the morning, thanks! Your story brings back memories, my first experiences with a red clay garden were very similar. kar, your story reminded me of one of those early experiences, after I had learned that cow or horse manure adds nutrients to soil. In those days I had two partners in a storefront business, and we owned two company vehicles, one of which was a huge Jeep J4000 pickup truck. My partners were also friends, so had no objection to my using the Jeep to get a load of manure. In fact, one partner went along with me. We got a good load of barn bedding from a nearby farm, drove that Jeep right down into the garden, emptied the manure and spread it. Being as it was late Fall, the sun was down by the time we finished and we decided leave the truck there until the next morning. Mistake. That night, it began to rain. By morning, the wind was howling and the rain had turned to snow. I rushed out to the garden to get the truck out before the weather got any worse, but the dang thing wouldn't start. Before I killed the battery, I called my partner, who (I believed) was a lot better qualified with internal combustion engines than me. Mistake. He fiddled and tinkered in the pouring, driving snow whilst I sat in the cab waiting for the next repetition of his "try it now" command. As he hunched over the engine, poking and chiding, I would turn the key, listening over the din of the wind for anything like the roar of engine starting. Tap tap tap with a wrench. "Try it now." Nothing. Turn of a screwdriver. "Try it now". A sputter. A choke. Nothing. Then he poured a little gasoline directly into the carburetor. Mistake. "Try it now." The engine roared, then rattled, then BANGED! and my partner's big red beard burst into flames. With a scream, he fell and rolled on the cold, wet ground. When he got up, half his beard was singed away. "Let's go inside," he said. He wasn't burned too badly, thanks be. But he was so rattled, he decided we'd have to quit for the day, and wait for better weather. Mistake. Before the weather got any better, it snowed about three inches, then it began to rain again, melting the snow, and the Jeep sank into the ground, right up to the axles. We ended up having to get a wrecker to haul it out of their, leaving foot-deep ruts a hundred feet long right through the middle of the garden. and then we had to have the Jeep towed to a real mechanic to have the carburetor rebuilt. |
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Posted: Jun/07/2008 6:10 AM PST
Motherbored that is so funny! Reminded me of the time back when we lived on a farm in Weatherford. My Dad ordered some baby chicks. When they grew bigger all 6 of us kids had to learn to hold them upside down by their feet and carry several at a time to their new pen. They grew and grew and Dad got tired of us not taking care of them or something  they were everywhere and so was their poop. Dad was so mad he got the "22" and commenced to shooting them LOL it was the funniest thing we'd ever seen..my Uncle who had just returned from Vietnam got another rifle and quickly went to Dad's side and bent down on one knee and started picking off the enemy..  Dad looked at him..he'd been so dang mad...but he couldn't help but laugh at the sight. That afternoon we all learned how to "whip a chickens neck" and cut it off (yuk,they chase you around the yard)steam the feathers off and pluck , cut up ,and freeze chickens...I really don't wanna ever do that again!
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Posted: Jun/07/2008 6:11 AM PST
I'm supposed to be quiet at this hour, but I'm afraid I let go with a horse laugh; I can, indeed, picture that. I, too, love the fact that there are others at the mercy of uncontrollable laughter... did I spell that right? Heck, I dunno |
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Posted: Jun/07/2008 6:15 AM PST
I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, either. Mike was gone and I was trying to mow, with our old tractor with the slick tires. I'd slid, backwards into the fence and tried everything I knew to get the dumb tractor out of there, then, suddenly a though struck me: Kitty Litter -- it didn't work, just soaked up more water and I had to leave the tractor until Mike came home from vacation. He still laughs about that, but he did get me a better tractor with better tires. |
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Posted: Jun/07/2008 6:19 AM PST
Here is another one for you to visualize..I don't know if the spelling is right..write it how it feels lol. When the chickens were in the barn snakes used to come there so you'd have to watch for them. Dad used to take us on hikes around the Ranch to aquaint us with the possible dangers. While we were out one morning my youngest brother spied a rattler by the barn...Dad told big brother to go get his rifle. Brother retrieved it and Dad told everyone to stand back..meanwhile a kitten (one of many) came investigating the snake about that time Dad shot the snake that kitten went straight up in the air and while in the air about a foot or two off the ground twisted around and ran in mid air outta there!!!!! Now that was funny too. 
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