BrownThumb's Blog

I concede... I CAN'T seed !
Mar 27, 2008 | 10:15 PM PST
Tags: seed , seedling , spring , oops , weed

I have always bought the $1 starter plants as I have a relatively small plot (16x8) and very little time, skill, or patience.

Eager to get started this year, but fearing one more March frost, I gazed longingly at the little peat cups and at the 4-sided Tower of Babel on a swivel. It was filled with seeds of every sort and so many packages! I am partial to edibles but couldn't resist a pack of echinacea (purple coneflowers) and some other perty, young, colorful things.

With high hopes, I decide to take the plunge. I even bought a bag of seeding dirt and a bag of compost - which I can never get into the cart without thinking of my dad back in Mississippi. I'd say, "I'm a real city slicker now, they just tricked me into paying real US dollars for a bag full of cow droppings!"

Having grown up pretty rural, that thought never ceases to amuse me. I can see ol' Cecil laughing out loud as he loads one more plastic bag with cow chips for the city slickers. Shaking his head, he knocks the dust from his seat and climbs back into a 1978 Chevy and heads across the fields for home-spun supper. But, I digress.

I filled each peat cup with a level of seeding dirt. Deciding to err on the side of BrownThumb-caution, I elected to place about 5 seeds per bin. Mind drifting, the thought of Easter eggs crossed my mind as the peat containers reminded me of my formative years dyeing Easter eggs with my Mom.

I made little tags to mark each section. "Let's see: 4 rows of cilantro, 2 Jalapeño, 2 of these new fangled gargantuan Jalapeños, one row of my experiment (broccoli), 1 row of eggplant and some bell peppers." Into each bin, I gingerly spread the seeds apart from each other, taking care to insert them to the exact depth called for on each package, checking each with an electronic seed-sensing caliper.
(OK, I made that last part up. You get one outrageous lie per blog entry from me - then I'm spent.)

I was nearly OCD in my attention to spacing, count, and marking. One more row... I reached for the scissors, nipped off the corner and shook out a few seeds. As I reached to place the last packet back on the table, the package caught the edge of the table. And that's when my over-active reflexes altered my planting season with both drama and flair.

Snatching frantically at the opened package of seeds, my right hand shot forward, catching the package in mid-air...

...and continued on to arc through every open pack of seeds that I had placed (intelligently) just above my seeding tray. Both hands became a frenzied blur sandwiching all the packets for a timely save.

" awHahw Hohhn!! Not zo fest my leetle frends!", I thought in my very best cheesy Three Musketeers-fake-French-accent.


Somewhere about mid-gloat I noticed that both jalapeno packages were upside down and gloriously raining seeds across 90% of my seed trays. They fell in slow motion, tumbling, catching sunlight on the way down like little tiny fire-laden jewels.

Well.

Dang.

Staring down at my assortment of what appeared to be some 200 seeds and more than a little disgusted with myself, I opted to bury them all and let God sort 'em out. Having wounded my pride and lost my patience, I walked to a 10 gallon pot with last season's weeds growing in it. I hacked the weeds lickety split and sowed the remaining seeds helter skelter with all the care that a hacked-off gardner can muster. I dumped a little cover soil on top and spun on my heel to leave. Harrrrrumph!

So now I have trays full of seeds - moistened up and placed to get just a little reflected sunlight. Before long, my terribly skilled efforts have produced many seedlings - most of which are jalapeno, I am sure. I got excited all over again, forgave my idiocy, and began to dote over my little seedlings. There's just something cool about going to seed!

That is, until they began to look a little sickly. So I tried to place them outside for a small dose of afternoon sunlight. This is apparently a bad thing. The next day, all of my 1 1/2 inch seedlings promptly fell over like tiny trees at Mount St Helens. Now, I am confused. This is a pattern I repeat in various forms over a couple of cycles and now I have NO seedlings successfully sprouted in my crazy little peat pot experiment.

Ironically, the helter skleter planting method in full sun has produced a pot full of healthy looking sproutlings. How amazing is that?! Yesterday, I think when I walked by the pot I heard a tiny chorus of voices yelling, "Maama, Mama!"
...which is kind of unsettling since I'm a guy.

If anyone can expound a little on the best methods of veggie seeding, I think we can all agree it is worth my time to study it.

Trowel on,
BrownThumb