ArchAngelAmaris's Blog

I write this with tears in my eyes.
Feb 25, 2008 | 10:51 PM PST
Tag: sadness

Forgive me for this non-garden related thought.

Today (or should I say yesterday as it is 12:49 a.m. here), my once best friend asked me to go to our local mall with her. As I have not been in school because I have some mental illnesses, I haven't seen her in a long time. Well, I didn't enjoy my time with her to say the least. It was very uncomfortable, and strained. I found her to be very boring. Her boyfriend showed up towards the end, and she started talking to him, and I was left standing there saying nothing.

I realized then that the time that we had lost, we can never get back, and the life we had won't be ours again. I guess when the morning comes, I will just have to forget about our life, and tell myself that I feel so much better now that they're gone forever. I hate to remember the good days when I was happier, and around people. Now, my anti-psychotic medicine has increased my appetite, leading to significant weight gain, and I feel so unattractive. I am at home most of the time. I have no friends. I feel so down sometimes. I am glad to say though, that gardening helps, and in this site, I am finding some good friends.

Thank you everyone, especially you Bill, you guys make me feel so much better.